My Sordid Pop-Tart Past
April 16, 2008 by Allison
Each morning, I start my day the same as I did the day before…with breakfast. I don’t think I’ve skipped breakfast a day in my life. And every day, I have the same thing for breakfast– a bowl (or two) of some kind of healthy cereal, usually something with the words twigs or bark featured prominently on the box and a fiber content that would satisfy even Sophia from The Golden Girls. I must confess that my breakfast choices have not always been this boring healthy. Quite the contrary, in fact.
There once was a time when I was addicted to 
sugary cereals of every shape, size, and hidden toy imaginable. I breakfasted on Captain Crunch, Lucky Charms, Fruity Pebbles, Cocoa Puffs, as well as others. My personal favorite, however, was undoubtedly the Pop-Tart. Mmmmmm…Pop-Tarts. Two pieces of pie crust joined in holy matrimony by ooey-gooey filling goodness, covered by icing (I shunned the non-iced variety), and topped with candy sprinkles. It just doesn’t get any better than that. Others (e.g., Nabisco Toastettes, Pillsbury Toaster Strudels, store brands) may imitate, but they will never be able to duplicate the goodness that is Pop-Tarts.
My childhood mission was to sample every available flavor of Pop-Tarts. My absolute favorite was the chocolate-vanilla creme kind. It had a chocolate crust- need I say more? Tied for second place were the frosted cherry and frosted strawberry varieties. Technically, I liked the taste of the cherry Pop-Tarts better, but I couldn’t seem to resist the rainbow colored sprinkles on the strawberry Pop-Tarts. I’d also like to take a moment to pay tribute to the discontinued Peanut Butter and Jelly Pop-Tarts. They were enjoyably edible in a comfortingly familiar way (not to mention the cool graham cracker crust). I ate my Pop-Tarts straight from the package 95% of the time, being far too impatient to toast and cool the pastries.
My Pop-Tart consumption had to come to an end eventually. The beginning of the end for me began 
when I actually began to read and comprehend the food labels I had once completely ignored…especially when I considered that one pastry was never a complete serving size for me (Is it for anybody else? if so, kudos to you for your self-restraint.) This probably happened sometime in college, when I came to the stark realization that my childhood metabolism was a thing of the past. I actually starting eating vegetables like peas and green beans for the first time in my life.
I still miss Pop-Tarts every now and then. Like when a former co-worker used to eat Cherry Pop-Tarts during every Wednesday morning staff meeting. I salivated worse than Pavlov’s dogs on those days and secretly cursed her for tempting me. I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to have one every now and then (especially considering that I never gave up cookies or chocolate), but I’m afraid that I won’t be able to exercise moderation with them. Would I be able to stop at one, or even two, pastry(ies)? Magic 8-Ball says: Not at Chance. I guess I’ll stick with my Nutty Nuggets for now.
I too ate sugar cereal like mad as a kid. I actually just stopped with the last couple years. Really, I was only eating Cocoa Crispies and Honey Smacks…but still kind of nerdy to still be eating my childhood cereals. I love to eat Cheerios and Smart Start now.
I personally loved the Chocolate Fudge pop tarts! Whenever I made the strawberry kind…I would always break the crust on the outside edges off b/c I loved the way it tasted by itself, and then save it for last. I’d eat the inside area first. Yummy!111
I transitioned myself from sugar to bark/twigs with Cheerios and regular corn flakes in between. It’s weird…I am a huge fan of chocolate, but the chocolate fudge ones were never my favorite. Don’t get me wrong, I ate them when my mom bought them, but I never dreamed about them as I did the others.
Ahhhh Pop-Tarts! The were indeed (and still are) divine. I also was a rabid sugar cereal junkie. But alas, even before my childhood came to an end, my mother made the decision to move me to healthier choices for breakfast.
I’ve only tried eating sugar cereal once in my adult life, but apparently my taste buds have matured, and the stuff tasted HORRIBLE. I gagged on the first few bites, then poured the rest down the garbage disposal.
But Pop-Tarts… I have to admit to eating these every now and again… they’re still as good as ever.
I agree completely with you about my current assessment of sugar cereals. It’s like when a waiter, unbeknownst to me, refills my drink with regular instead of diet coke. I sputter and gag as though I’ve been poisoned.
I thought I read somewhere that there were actually whole wheat pop-tarts out there….but I couldn’t find them at the store. Then I realized how ridiculous it was to be looking for whole-wheat pop-tarts.
Hehe, I love that you looked first and then decided the whole notion was crazy.
Mmm, Pop Tarts. I’m partial to the Brown Sugar Cinnamon or the Chocolate Fudge. I go through phases (ok, PMS) where I have to have Pop Tarts, and then weeks of feeling guilty for eating them.
I have the same crave/guilt cycle with homemade chocolate chip cookies.
As it happens I am reading this post while eating my daily dose of Organic Swedish Tree Bark, and find myself salivating for Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts. I am craving them so badly that I am dreaming of their luscious perfume whilst warming in the toaster oven. Luckily (or not?) I’d be hard pressed to find a Pop Tart in the city of Stockholm, even if IT came out and bit ME.
Shoot. Now I want to smell their luscious perfume too
Blueberry Pop Tarts were/are my favorite, and I too ate most of mine at room temperature. I ate mine from the outside in, saving the hear of the tart for last.
I’m still a sucker for the sweet cereals too. Apple Jacks and Cap’n Crunch are two of my favorites.
Ice cold milk is a must for both.
Hey, didn’t blueberry Pop-Tarts have rainbow colored sprinkles too? I always liked to drink the remaining “chocolate” milk from the cereal bowl after eating Cocoa Puffs. Ice cold, of course.
Don’t give up hope! I actually like the low fat variety the best. When they first started offering the low-fat versions about 8 years ago, they came in all flavors, but apparently we Americans only purchased strawberry and chocolate, so that’s all they make now.
But here’s my recipe:
- 2 low-fat pop tarts, heat ‘em up in the toaster.
- Put them, icing side down, on a plate (if you put them on a paper towel, they’ll stick)
- while it’s still hot, spread the low-fat butter subsitute of your choice on the back until it’s all melty
- sprinkle sugar over melty butter (additional cinnamon is optional)
Enjoy with a huge, honkin’ cold glass of milk!
I have always had a distrust of any inherently fattening dessert available in fat-free form (especially ice cream…but not yogurt from TCBY). It’s normally so bad that I’d rather have an occasional splurge on the real thing than a daily dose of yuck. I must admit though, that I’m extremely intrigued by the way you prepare Pop-Tarts. That sounds divine, and definitely more like dessert than like breakfast.
ah, for the lost love of a Pop-Tart.
I was starting to get worried that I was the only one who buttered (and I’m talking the better half of a stick) my warm tarts.
Pop-Tarts would be categorized as a red-light food as I lie to myself that eating 1/2 a tart at a time justifies eating the entire box. untoasted.
Let’s see if visualizing a Pop-Tart can prevent me from buying an entire box and eating them in a darkened garage.
Thank goodness you’re not alone! You’ll have to report back about the effectiveness of your visualization exercise.
I’m a toaster strudel man myself. But it’s hard to say no to the Smore’s pop tarts
Toaster strudels? Egads. Don’t those actually involve cooking of some sort (and yes, I consider pushing the toaster lever to be cooking)?
I loved the frosted strawberry poptarts… YUMMY! I wonder if they load them with some sort of crack that makes us even now crave a box 15 years later?
They must be crack-infused. How else can we explain it?
I’m with Billy. The S’mores are my favorite. I had to stop buying them because they weren’t just a breakfast food for me.
Wait a minute. I think s’mores have the graham cracker crust, just like the PB&J used to have. *happy sigh*
P.S. Your cupcakes at the top are making me drool.
All part of my evil plan
A co-worker made a Pop-Tart the other day and even though I have not eaten or smelled them in years, I instantly went into full craving mode. Which I resisted but now that you brought it up AGAIN I don’t know if I can remain strong.
I sometimes eat sugar cereals as dessert. As breakfast they are bad, very bad, but if you consider them dessert they have some redeeming qualities: relatively low calories (as compared to, say, cheesecake) and some semblance of nutrition in the added vitamins.
I completely agree about the sugar cereals as a dessert. It’s all relative.
Just eat the pop tart and then run an extra mile on the treadmill… they’re worth it!!
Brown Sugar Cinnamon… Mmmmm a little piece of heaven
There’s not enough time in the day to run off a Pop-Tart
Hi Allison.. thanks for being the first to comment on my new blog!
Cherry pop tarts were my favourite - except we didnt have a toaster so I heated them up in the microwave which was awesome until you bit into something resembling the temperature of the sun.
You’re welcome
Your post with the bike picture caught my eye on tag surfer. I can imagine the microwaved hot spots were something akin to the experience I’ve had with Hot Pockets in the past. Ouch.
As a child, we were only allowed “healthy” cereals with SKIM MILK, so I fed my sweet cereal and pop tart jones when I finally left home. My fave pop tart is blueberry frosted and the other fruit ones. I also like the cinnimon flavor. I was dismayed to read the package once to find that ONLY ONE tart was a serving when I usually ate four. They taste chemically now to me however, and I prefer (oh, Blasphemy!) the organic type of “toaster pastry” that is less sweet and chemically. Faced with the vending machine, however, the pop tarts call to me. My fave cereal is Froot Loops and Cap’n Crunch…I usually buy sweetie cereal for “adults” with fruit and nuts, however, usually called “granola” but I call it “scale panic”.
I have definitely seen a sugar rebellion amongst my friends who were denied such foods in their childhood. I liked Fruit Loops too, and I should have liked Trix since it was the same concept but I didn’t.
I always preferred the non-frosted fruit-filled ones. They’re a quick fix when I’m jonesing for PIE.
But have you tried the *gingerbread* Pop-Tarts?!?! They were out during the holiday season. Yummy gingerbread with icing for the filling. Slathered with cream cheese, they’re to die for …
Um, I’ve never heard of the gingerbread ones (probably because I avoid eye contact in the cereal aisle and don’t watch cartoons) but they sound delicious!
I don’t recall the sprinkle color of the blueberry Pop Tart. Hmmm?
As for chocolaty cereal milk, or any sweet cereal milk, OH SO GOOD!!! Apple Jacks milk is the bomb. 
Mmmm…I haven’t had a Pop Tart in years! Frosted Strawberry for me, please. But…had to pop it in the toaster and have it gooey and warm. I can still remember the pain in my teeth from all the sugar…but it was oh, so worth it.
I’m still all about the Lucky Charms, though…they’re magically delicious!
Every now and then I see a commercial for Lucky Charms saying that somebody has done something crazy like steal all of the color out of the marshmallows or mix them up, and I feel myself light up with anger. Leave well enough alone, I say. Clovers should be green, horseshoes should be purple, hearts should be pink, diamonds should be blue, and so forth. Sheesh.
I don’t remember the time I converted away from sugary-marshmallowy cereals, but to eat those today would seem crazy!! I’m Special K or Multi-Grain Cheerios all the way…yawn…yawn…yawn…
PS: I didn’t really like the fruity pop tarts, but I was a sucker for the ’smores ones….mmm…
S’mores Pop-Tarts seem to be the big winner amongst these comments (just typed that after finishing a bowl of Grape-Nuts Trail Mix *yawn* for breakfast).
Great post. You’re such a good writer! You might be a little off on the toaster strudels, though…those are very good. (Yes, I saw your comment about them being more work, and they are, but you have me to prepare them for you!)
But you don’t wake up at zero-dark thirty when I would need them prepared
What? Matt doesn’t get up an hour earlier than he has to so you can have breakfast in-hand when you walk out the door? Does he at least grind the beans each morning and brew fresh coffee?
So when my wife said “All husbands do this”…
Dang. I am so gullible. - Tim
Um, yeah, all husbands typically do this. My husband is the one exception. Please don’t let his unusual behavior cause you to doubt what your wife has been telling you.
Tag - your it!
I love pop tarts
Who could resist their ooey-gooey goodness?
I haven’t had a pop tart in forever.
My husband actually PREFERS the non-iced ones. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.
I too, prefer the strawberry or cherry ones, and I eat them outside in too.
Matt prefers the non-iced ones too. In fact, he bought a box at the grocery last night. Definitely insanity!
I came to your blog through the “arrow” thing… pop-tarts were incredible! Until i learnt they contained gelatine… same with Lucky Charms… it’s all rather depressing! x
I don’t know what gelatine is, but I’m sorry on your behalf that its presence ruined Pop-Tarts for you.
There should be a pop-tart logo on my college degree. They were so easy to grab because I was always late. There was one brand that I can’t recall right now, that was my favorite. They had these little sugar crystals on them and a very crispy crust around the edges. They were the best. I can’t even remember the last time I had a pop-tart. Thinking of eating one almost gags me now.
Sounds look a diploma you would earn from Sweet Tooth University. Sign me up!
I used to love eating those things when I was in high school. I liked strawberry frosted the best. I also remember eating the smore flavored ones (chocolate and marshmellow filling surrounded by graham cracker crusts). Those were pretty tasty when warm, but kind of gross when cold out of the package.
Mmmm…those do sound good warm. If I ever eat the s’more kind, I will practice the patience of using a toaster.
One of my personal favs was King Vitamin. I don’t know if they still make it anymore–I haven’t seen it for a long time.
Pop Tarts were definitely a good choice also!
I remember that cereal, though I’m sure I never ate it if I sensed nutrition.
Pop tarts are still my snack of choice at work. If only they’d stock the cherry ones!
I try to get the same taste with a cherry Nutri-grain bar, but it doesn’t work.