Choose Your Table Wisely
May 7, 2008 by Allison
Have you ever found yourself in (or next to) a conversation to which you have absolutely nothing to contribute? That’s where I was today. Actually, I was in the middle of two such conversations. I attended a lunch/training session today and ended up seated at a table with 6 other women. On my right, 3 women discussed every possible aspect of Vera Bradley products. [Vera who?] On my left, 3 women discussed white outfits adorned by cherries for their babies. [I don't spend a lot of time thinking about my kid's clothes, as I know they are going to be soiled or mangled instantly.]
Rather than attempting to participate, I passed the time studying how each woman ate her dessert (options were chocolate and coconut cream pies). One woman only ate the topping on her pie. Two women split their pieces in half and swapped halves to provide variety. Another woman declined pie altogether *gasp*.
Thankfully, a presentation on time management brought an end to the small talk. Unfortunately for me, the speaker mentioned that his wife was in the audience. Highly distractible, I became obsessed with trying to figure out who was his perfect match. I eventually gave up and started paying attention to the lecture, which turned out to be quite good. He started choking up a bit at the end when he asked us to finish the statement: At the end of my life, I wish I would have spent more time _______. This will, no doubt, have me thinking all night.
What was your pie of choice and consumption technique? Inquiring minds want to know.
It was a tough call but ultimately, I opted for coconut cream. I discarded the meringue topping as I considered it to be all fluff, and no substance.
I have been in your position so many times. It’s kind of what I loved/hated about conferences. My people watching skills are wonderful, unfortunately my socialization skills are awful.
I was fortunate enough to attend with a co-worker (who was very much so enjoying the Vera Bradley conversation)…the socialization aspect is much more painful for me when I attend alone.
1- his wife was obviously the one who refused pie (in the interest of time management)
2-women in coordinated ensembles with children that have coordinated ensembles need more than pie
2- fill in the blank with “doing what I want instead of going to training sessions”
a) Nope…he mentioned a 15-mo. old son, and she was showing off pics of a 12-mo. old daughter. Good thinking though.
b) Agreed.
c) Definitely. Stupid continuing education requirements.
This happens to me when my wife and son start talking “phonics” at the dinner table. There are so many damned rules…they just laugh at me. I spell well because…just because…they do well because there are actually rules to this language…DAMNED HOMESCHOOL!
I guess they’re hooked on it.
Yes, I know that was very lame.
…sitting on a riding lawnmower rather than pushing a traditional mower.
Does that count?
Absolutely. In fact, he mentioned that you should pay somebody to mow your lawn and clean your house if you don’t enjoy it. Yeah. I’ll get right on that.
…socializing with people by choice instead of by obligation.
I just hate getting stuck in lunch things like that. Ugh. You guys talk, I’ll be over there with my book. I think I’m like Sarah in that my social skills need some work.
I have to admit, I would probably have tried to figure out which was his wife, too. That’s just a tease.
And this will probably end up getting my Man Card revoked, but I know who Vera Bradley is. (My wife used to work for a competitor.)
Amen, TB.
It never fails, if I bring a book to read during breaks, somebody starts a conversation with me. I guess it could be worse
I am way too nosy to pass a “wife search” challenge like that up.
Okay, I confess that I am familiar with Vera…though not through personal experience.
I’d say eating pie.
Just not coconut cream/creme?? pie.
Getting stuck in a conversational black hole like this happens to me all the time. I think to avoid it, you need to make a move immediately upon sitting down so that you can steer the conversation and stay involved.
I am always highly suspicious of anyone who turns down dessert. Who does that? In fact, last time I was at a similar event I was sitting next to an empty chair. The server set down a dessert at the empty space and I stared at it the whole time because I really wanted to eat it.
That would be my answer. I wish I had spent more time eating the second creme brulee.
I love your black hole analogy. That is exactly what it feels like.
I don’t know who turns down dessert. She looked like a relatively normal person, but looks can be deceiving.
I’m interested to hear what you come up with as an answer to the guy’s question. Very thought provoking. At my last company, the senior partner retired a couple of years ago. During his farewell speech, he stated with regret that he wished he could have spent more time with his family. Well how sad is that? Here the guy is sixty and his kids are grown and gone. On the other hand, had he not worked those sixteen hour days, he probably wouldn’t have been senior partner in the first place. It’s wise to answer questions like these when you’re young, as you can’t change your mind later.
Also, ITA about eating the second creme brulee. Maybe even taking the time to share a third with the kids.
That is extremely sad about the senior partner. I know without a shadow of a doubt that all the money in the world would not be worth missing my daughter grow up. I enjoy having shelter, food, and clothes…but in the end, it’s just stuff. My grandma said something similar to that when a tornado destroyed everything she had and almost killed her a couple of years ago. I might have to work on a post about that someday…
I’m not really sure of anything i want to do more of, I just know it’s not discuss freaking name brand products or goofy baby outfits. You were surrounded by nincompoops! Actually they’re probably just the normal crowd who happen to have a little too much disposable income on hand. I’ve always felt this way about Longaberger baskets. Have you ever heard of those? Good Lord, they’re obnoxious.
I’m so completely against this crap, I was reading the paper before and became so disgusted when I realized the fact that some (maybe all) of the political candidates and their spouses wear those idiotic high heels that cost many hundreds of dollars. This does not bode well for our tax dollars.
I’d much rather vote for a reasonable penny-pincher like yourself!
I always enjoy your perspective on things, Pamajama. I have heard of those baskets, and there is no way in hell I would pay that kind of money for something I made in 4th grade art class (okay, there might be a slight difference in quality). Matt might disagree with the “reasonable” before the penny-pincher
Hahaha. I have a conference coming up and appreciate the tips for passing some time.
Always glad to promote distractions.
Isn’t people-watching like having your very own TV box in front of you? Well okay maybe the show isn’t any good at all, but it’s still kind of mesmerizing….and at the end of my life, I wish I would have spent more time loving and less time dreaming, but the current circumstances prevail
All of your planning will come to fruition soon enough…probably when you least expect it.
I think you got it right - instead of trying to participate, you did your own thing. Once you figure out you really don’t care, and don’t NEED to care, it makes life so much more fun, although I must say I’ve been told it makes people uncomfortable to be around me at times.
My response when people tell me I don’t talk enough: “It’s not that I don’t care; it’s just that I don’t care very much.”
Sine Metu.
How very Thoreau of you