Whose Milk Is It Anyway?
May 8, 2008 by Allison
Babies scare me. They always have, and having a child of my own did not change this. I attribute my own imp’s survival to no less than divine intervention. So you can imagine my surprise when our good friends entrusted their beloved 4-month old daughter to my care recently.
The drop-off was smooth, with only a fear tears shed (by the mother…it was her first time using a sitter). I revelled in the opportunity to savor all that is baby goodness (without all of the sleep deprivation badness). Baby Boo smiled and cooed…everything a good baby ought to do. I was starting to think that I had finally mastered the essence of baby caretaking. And then came the tears. Nothing will move me to action quicker than a baby’s cry. I must figure out what is wrong and make it right. I tried all the old tricks I could recall using on my own imp– rocking, walking, singing silly songs, and sticking an Elmo doll in her face. Nothing worked. Then I remembered that I had taped Sarah Jessica Parker on The View. If anything could make a person happy, it was Sarah Jessica Parker in a pair of hot-pink Manolo Blahniks. Baby Boo was sound asleep in two minutes. Mission accomplished.
Baby Boo awoke (conveniently just as the episode ended) in a much better mood. This lasted about 15 minutes until she started showing some telltale signs of hunger. I observed a look of panic entering her eyes as she began to sense that she was being cared for by a non-lactator. I quickly revealed a bottle of pumped milk to assure her that I had a handle on the situation, and was rewarded with a squeal of delight and complete bottle acceptance.
Like a moth to the flame, my imp materialized from nowhere to gaze at the bottle with a mixture of awe and adoration. The conversation that followed went something like this:
Imp: Can I hoooold it (referring to the bottle)?
Me: Maybe (using evasive tone)
Imp: Can I drink it?
Me: NO
Imp: Can I hoooold it?
Me: Do you cross-your-heart-promise that you won’t drink it?
Imp: Yes (mischievous glint in her eye)
Imp picks up bottle and attempts to drink. Now my imp adores my friend and vice versa, but this seems to be crossing some invisible line.
Milk preserved, Baby Boo made it through the rest of the night unscathed. I hope they let me watch her again.
I know, there is just something a little weird about your own kid drinking someone else’s milk. Which is so stupid because our kids drink milk from COWS for heaven sake. But it’s still weird nonetheless!
So true. I also seem to recall references to nursemaids from historical fiction.
OK, after you answered “no” to the second question and then the third question was a repeat of the first question, you should have KNOWN what was coming! Shame on you.
Nicki: The reason why it’s weird is because when you think about your kid drinking regular (cow) milk, you don’t picture him/her hanging off of a cow’s udder, sucking violently.
See if I fall for that trick again
Did she like it?
I read somewhere that women from some countries pass the children around and let them suckle off of other women. It’s all good right? I just would not want my child bonding with other mommas. I am selfish like that.
I tend to be selfish with my child bonding too!
I have a feeling that Imp has much to teach my little Boo about how to utilize your cuteness to your full advantage
PS I think these are one of those stories that will totally gross Imp out/embarrass her when she gets older…
The force is strong in that one. She has much to learn.
Four month old kids (I have a blue one) are cool!
Smile and they smile back.
Could they be any cuter? There is nothing more gratifying than a baby’s smile.
Hmm … you know, I heard a story about breast milk not long ago, involving a man going to the fridge for milk for his cereal, noticing there was none, so helping himself to some of his wife’s pumped stuff. His wife was NOT happy when she went to feed the baby next …
My husband is a pretty open-minded guy, but I think he would squeeze juice from a dandelion before stealing pumped milk from a baby.
I’m like you, babies are scary. My best friend often entrusts me to keep her child alive for a morning/afternoon/evening. You think she would be more wary of this considering I refused to hold her child until the rest of his cord fell off of his belly button. What scares me even more, is that she is having a second one and I know she’s going to trust me to keep that one alive at some point too. I’m afraid how I’m going to keep my own alive when I finally have one!
You’ll have an excuse to buy more books about keeping babies alive and well
I once saw a toddler walk and abruptly spew projectile vomit in mid-step. Scary and Carrie rhyme.
Well done!
That’s cute that you know what your little one will do well before it happens.
“Can I hoooold it?”
I’m still laughing as I write this.
I can read her face like a book.
Yep, babies scare me, too. I normally consider myself fairly dexterous and NOT a big lumbering lummox, but I’m always terrified that I’ll sneeze and drop ‘em or something equally ridiculous.
It’s the whole floppy neck thing. That and the cranial soft spot.
Babies are sooo adorable, as long as they get to go home with someone else!! That is my reasoning for no more kids, I am waiting for grandkids instead!
The accompanying sleep deprivation prevents me from being the little old lady who lived in a shoe.
Kids can be cute when they want to be! This reminded me of the Friends episode when Ross (I think) drank some of Caroline’s breast milk and promptly spit it out. Too funny. And as a side note, your entry on Sex and the City made it sound like the best show ever and as a result I’ve been watching it everynight on TBS - and I’m quickly becoming addicted! The problem is that I think they’re showing one of the last season’s and really just need to start at the begining.
I’m glad you’re enjoying SATC…it really might be my favorite tv show ever (toss-up between that and The Office). I was a little skeptical about how SATC would translate to TBS toned down, but I’ve been really impressed with the re-runs I’ve caught.
Hello, I’m new here, on the WordPress. My kid is very curious at 6 years and I’m sure he would do the same. Can I drink it? It doesn’t seem weird to me. This little ones just want to know.. It would be the same if I would tell him it’s dino’s milk.
Yep, Curious George is her role model.
I wish we could have our babies without sleep deprivation! Sadly, Baby Bug (who is 3 months old today, can you believe it?) still sleeps mostly during the day. Monkeypants (being a normal healthy 4 year old) sleeps at night but has mostly outgrown naps. I sleep….well, you know. Whenever.
I think kids are adorable-especially when they’re sleeping!
Their adorability is their saving grace in the face of total exhaustion.