With a few blog-worthy exceptions. Like what happened tonight. The evening began innocently enough. The imp and I spent some quality time at the pool. She splashed; I supervised. All in all, it was a swimming success. Afterwards, we sought the soothing warmth of the locker room showers to de-chlorinate ourselves.
As it happens, there is only one shower stall large enough to accommodate both of us. Unfortunately, it was occupied by another woman. Not just any woman, mind you…a very peculiar woman. She was showering in her swimsuit with the curtain wide open. This was completely normal. What happened next was not. She removed her swimsuit and continued to bathe, shower curtain still open, in an exposed state. Making matters worse, her body was disturbingly emaciated. I couldn’t make myself look away. The whole incident probably only lasted a couple of minutes, but it seemed like an eternity.
I’m normally indifferent to locker room nudity, but it seems practically unconscionable to let a good shower curtain go to waste. [That goes double for a healthy-looking body.]
21 Comments
May 9, 2008 at 11:14 pm
I’m gonna have bad dreams now.
I hope you’re enjoying your weekend and have a Happy Mother’s Day. 
I hope not, and thank you!
May 9, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Be glad you don’t have to go into the men’s locker room. In EVERY gym locker room I’ve been in there’s an 85 year old man walking around stark-ass naked. Mind you, he’s not heading toward the shower (or back from).
I’ve even seen an old badger prop his foot up on the bench like he was a rock climber. “Hey buddy, how was your workout?” “Fine, Old Timer; could you holster that thing?”
OH! And he CARRIES a towel around. In his hand. Ah, who am I kidding…that will be me someday.
Sine Metu.
I have heard frightening tales about the men’s locker room from Matt…with similar naked atrocities. He has mentioned a guy (not in prime condition) shaving in the buff at the sink. Yikes to the foot propper. It’s all very Seinfeld-esque. Do you remember the girlfriend who walked around his apartment naked? Though she was very attractive, Jerry found some acts in the buff to be too much…bending over, opening a jar of pickles, etc.
May 10, 2008 at 6:07 am
I’m queasy just posting this. I’ve seen many such frightening things. I thought last fall’s experience in the bathroom at a major university football stadium was the zenith of such horrors. I went in to use the facilities and men were lined up behind each other just waiting to use the urinals. The problem was that they were all unzipped and in the ready position. The most disturbing thing I’d seen until a recent trip to Disney. OK. If you’ve recently eaten, look away now. A man had two large McDonald’s french fry containers held back to back full of hot fries in one hand, used the urinal with other hand. Bad enough. Then it was in the putting away and zipping up when the hand holding the fries was below the zipper, securing that end of the negotiation. I’ll have my Mickey D’s burgers fry-less forever more.
It’s like looking at a problem-solving puzzle and trying to identify all of the things that are wrong in this comment. So many. So disturbingly many. I’m not even sure what to say to express my horror at the McD’s situation. I wonder if the other recipient of the fries had any idea about history of said fries.
May 10, 2008 at 6:34 am
The showers at the local city recreation center are broken up into three distinct areas. Each area has a 1″ pipe in the center and 6 to 8 shower heads around the outside.
Although this may be an efficient, and practical way to design the shower room, it does force everyone to shower in a circle facing each other. This is very hard to get used to.
But, if there is a shower curtain, it really should be used…maybe you could have walked over there and closed it for her. Wouldn’t that have been an uncomfortable situation?
That’s a very odd shower situation. Ick.
I was like a deer in headlights…didn’t even think about the possibility of shutting the curtain for her…but I’m guessing she would not have been pleased.
May 10, 2008 at 7:18 am
See, this is why I don’t work out much.
Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.
May 10, 2008 at 7:39 am
I was on a swim team in high school, and after every meet we would head to the lockers rooms to rinse off. Most of us tended to leave our suits on and do a basic de-chlorinate. There was one girl on our team who felt the need to do a full on shower, in the buff. High school locker rooms were not built with curtains in mind, so she would take off her suit and then walk (nekkid) over to the showers and do her thing. The first time she did this we all kind of stood there in shock just staring because we didn’t know what else to do.
Naked events definitely seem even more amplified in high school.
May 10, 2008 at 7:56 am
I JUST joined a gym and have been worried ever since that I wouldn’t get used to exercise. Now I’m thinking the bigger concern will be getting used to naked people.
If you can avoid the locker room altogether, you should be okay. Nobody walks around the cardio room naked. Nearly naked, but not completely naked.
May 10, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I was in China recently with my asian friends. We went out for a massage, turns out it was a bath house. Beautiful facility, one side for the men and the other for the women. I was the only caucasian red headed, full busted woman in the place, so you can imagin how I stood out.
I was amazed at how very relaxed everyone was, there were naked people in the hot tubs, saunas, steam rooms, massage tables and whirlpools. There were young girls, old ladies and everything in between.
One of my Asian friends suggested that I might want to open one of these in america. I burst out laughing……..and told her, in America we are so uptight about nudity, we don’t even like to look at ourselves. We would be passing judgement, poking fun and running into walls because our eyes would be shut for fear of seeing someone else in the nude.
Oh, the difference a culture makes.
Very interesting! As I don’t get to social spectate internationally, I thoroughly enjoy hearing these kinds of stories.
May 10, 2008 at 6:47 pm
There’s a woman at my gym who does this too. She has a propensity for standing in front of the locker too and having conversations with people, and every now and then I look over because I’m accustomed to talking to peoples eyes… only to see the brown eye from her arse glaring at me.
Sad, sad world.
It makes me want to, like, invest in a shower curtain-y thing that I can hook around my locker so I can change in privacy.
Ew. No naked bending in the locker room. I think nudity is fine as an end to a means in the locker room, but let’s not drag it out unnecessarily.
May 10, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Maybe she’s trying to get some action? LOL
I hope not!
May 11, 2008 at 6:07 am
I love the people at the gym. They make my life seem more interesting.
Sometimes I actually crave an odd gym encounter just for the amusement of it.
May 11, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Ugh…. I just hate the locker rooms. Our gym is fan-ta-bu-lous. I cannot stress that. World Class… seriously. That said, the locker rooms seem to have mirrors EVERYWHERE (just think about replicating that emaciated body all around the room… gives me the heebies.). I hide in a towel while dressing and undressing. (Mostly to keep the kids from making some unholy comment about my chest or booty!) Recently Hubby was impressed that all three little girls and I were in ONE shower stall (how’s that for water conservation?). Lucky for us… our stalls all have doors that are powder coated…
Wriggly kids can knock them open relatively easily though.
You gotta love kids in the locker room. I once heard a kid systemically working his way down the shower line, pulling open every shower curtain and yelling mom…thankfully, I was completely prepared by the time he got to my stall.
May 12, 2008 at 6:14 am
I think I’d prefer emaciated over obese! I’m assuming then that you didn’t get any discreet camera phone shots (face blurred out of course) to share with your readers?
(I know, I should stop!)
I wouldn’t be so sure about that…it was a strange mixture of bones of little wiry muscle things. Definitely not camera-worthy. Sorry to let you down.
May 12, 2008 at 8:16 am
I accept some degree of nudity in the locker room because some people are clearly culturally acclimated to nudity. The 55-year-old guy with the Slavic accent gets a pass.
What confuses me is that there are occasionally people who seem to WANT to offend you, just so they can lecture you on how stupid or infantile you are. I don’t know how to describe them, just that I know ‘em when I see ‘em. It’s like they’re watching you, waiting for you to avert your eyes or say something. THAT bugs me more than the nudity.
Oh, shoot. Belligerent nudists!
May 12, 2008 at 9:48 am
The lady doth protest too much.
Start a nude aversion therapy group
to meet weekly for coctails and conversation in an office,
nude of course.
It doesn’t bother me at all. No, really. Not at all
May 12, 2008 at 5:06 pm
nice title
you made me hungry for muffins though! those look so tasty!!! that was until i read your story and was horrified by the wonderful imagination i have and an ugly lady showering nude in public.
better luck next time
Those muffins were delicious…I have a post with the recipe link floating around with an “I’m scary in the kitchen” tag.
May 13, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I HATE showering at the gym. And this is why…
LOL! Great blog!
Thanks!
May 19, 2008 at 2:04 pm
(Sorry for arriving late to the party)
For some reason, this seems even worse than the incident involving “enhanced mammaries.” Perhaps she’s used to the communal showers of old, and was just trying to be pleasantly social.
Count yourself lucky though. At least she didn’t strike up a conversation. – Tim
Better late than never.
Consider myself counted lucky!
May 30, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Sarah,
I was on the girls swim team in high school and all of us took our post-swim showers in the nude. I’ve never understood why some people choose to shower in a swimsuit? You cant get rid of that chlorine smell if you keep the swimsuit on, and you can’t wash properly with soap if the swimsuit is covering your body. And no offense intended, but I’ve always thought that it looks pretty silly for grown women to be showering in their swimsuit so that none of the other women see them nude.
May 30, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Allison,
My gym has group showers, that being the case we all are in plain view of everyone else anyway. After the first few times everyone is pretty used to the nudity. And at my gym you see every body shape in the locker room, everything from fat, thin and everything in between.
November 9, 2008 at 10:55 am
Re: morethananelectrician’s comment, that is how all group showers that I remember used to be. Columns with usually 4 shower heads per. In past decades, thats how showering was at school, pool, or gym.
And yes, I remember through all my years at school everyone walked into the showers naked since you usually got handed a towel upon exiting. Kids may have had a problem with it the first few times, but got over it.
I thought it was funny in sixth grade that I was on the completely undeveloped end of the puberty spectrum on display and remember laughing about it.
That said, I don’t understand the people that endlessly walk around naked for seemingly no reason. I think the shaving at the sink nude is a military thing that people over a certain age do, although they could put on a towel.