My boss emailed me earlier this week requesting some form of pain reliever. January is a crazy busy month at work and she sensed an impending headache. Like any brown-nosing loyal employee, I rushed to her side with medication in hand. She returned the bottle a little later and inquired with a look of mortification concern, “Allison, is that just a bottle you refill, or is that the actual bottle those pills came in?” Uh-oh. I knew where this was going.
“Um, that’s the bottle they came in,” I answered, “Did I forget to mention that I’m an expiration disregarder?” Maybe I should have thought about that before I distributed the medication…especially since my performance review was scheduled later that day.
16 Comments
January 14, 2009 at 8:02 pm
hahahaha….stop trying to kill your boss….lol….oh YOU
(hope your review went well though, I mean come on, you’ve got charm and smarts up the wazoo, boss can over-look attempted murder, haha…sorry, too funny
)
January 14, 2009 at 8:21 pm
My hubby disregards expiration dates, too. I can’t stand it. When I’m sick and he tries to get me something out of the “medicine cabinet” (a.k.a. shoebox under the sink), I won’t take it unless I get to look at the whole bottle.
The two of you are dangers to society! haha. Just kidding.
January 14, 2009 at 9:42 pm
AAAUGH!!! Whoops. I am also an expiration disregarder up to 2 years, max. You are way extreme. I hope the review went well. I just had mine too. It went very well, probably because I didn’t try to slip my boss some old, expired pillz….
January 14, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Those dates are BUNK…except for meat and dairy products.
January 15, 2009 at 8:04 am
I used to pay close attention, but then I read that medication expiration dates are almost always crap, so I don’t worry about them anymore.
Especially the last few bits of “good” (read: with the really effective ingredients that apparently can be used to make meth, so they changed the formula or put them behind the counter) cold medicine I have hoarded.
January 15, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha (breathe) hahahahahahahaha….
Oops!!!
January 15, 2009 at 3:30 pm
She’ll be fine. I once ate a Flintstone vitamin that was ten years old. I think it gave me x-ray vision for an afternoon. But then that subsided and I had orange colored palms. No biggie!
January 15, 2009 at 6:57 pm
don’t worry about ruining your chances for getting a raise over a mere issue like expired prescriptions! I was at a party (that my boss also happened to be at) and was downing Pomegranite Martinis like they were water. She came up to me and said, “Aren’t you on Valium right now for your vertigo issues?” Ummmm….yea. I imagine I’ll be “randomly’ pulled for a drug test sometime in the near future.
January 15, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Arggggh. Don’t get me started. WC (the pharmacist)…geez
January 15, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Ummm, you’re an accountant. You’re supposed to be cost-conscious. Scientific minds agree that expiration dates are a combination of revenue-producing hype and can (usually) be interpreted as guidelines and not givens (?)
Good luck with your review. At least you’ve proven that you’re a “waste not, want not” person.
January 16, 2009 at 11:21 am
Hee hee…poisoning your boss with old meds…tsk tsk.
I hope your review went well – old pills or not, I’m sure you kicked butt!
January 17, 2009 at 9:47 am
Medications have expiration dates?
January 17, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I disregard as well…this post is hilarious though~
January 18, 2009 at 4:57 pm
I’m with maleesha on expirations. More than a year or two, forget it. Some meds are less stable than others and lose potency.
Begged question: What self-respecting boss would not have some kind of headache remedy OF THEIR OWN in the top right drawer? Sheesh!
So, how’d that review go?
January 20, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Please… I’ve been downing expired prescription meds all weekend am I’m fine. In fact, the doctor told me taking the aforementioned pills is the reason why I started getting better.
Of course there is a slight chance this will come up on your next performance eval. But you can take care of that by slipping something expired into her coffee, right?
January 21, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I too am an ED, as long as the headache goes away, who cares.